Realstuck
by Fixc9876
Summary: Alright. 12 people in my house claiming they're internet trolls. Yet they have grey skin and horns. This can't end well. Rated T for language
1. Chapter 1

Alright.

There's a woman on the couch rolling on my Mom's catnip plant.

And she's purring.

There's a man next to her with my broom.

Cleaning up a broken glass of milk.

And they're gray.

And have horns.

...

Nope, not insane. They're still there. I should start from the beginning.

So I was walking home from school, alright. Everything normal. My parents are never home much so I just walk home and stay alone. They were coming back today, so I had to get home and tidy up or they'll lecture my ass. I got to my house, flipped out the key, and walked in. I didn't even need to clean much. So I just walked in, went to the fridge, took out some soda and chugging it out of the bottle. I never really cared about what I did as long as nothing was affected by it, so I just finished the bottle and threw it away. I wanted to watch some TV, and made my way to the living room. My father was a CEO and my mother was an Ambassador, so the house was naturally big.

Then I heard the crash. I thought another stray cat had knocked over a vase again, so I grabbed the broom and dustpan and made my way.

I was half-wrong.

In the living room were two strangers, one rolling on the couch with what looked like a plant under her, one leaning over a broken cup of milk. I dropped the broom and dustpan, screamed, and ran into the hallway.

And that's where I am right now.

Hiding in the hallway from two strangers.

I can't call 911. _Police? Yeah, there's two grey, horned people in my house, one has murdered my plant and one has broken a cup._ Yeah, that would go well. I panicked, grabbed the nearest item, and snuck back into the doorway. Still there. Apparently the man was taking advantage of my fear and using the broom and dustpan on the glass shards. Then he broke it in half. Damn. I had two options. 1) Stay here and wait for my parents, or 2) be Leroy Jenkins.

I think it was obvious what I did.

I turned on whatever I had and pointed it at the intruders. When nothing happened, I finally realized I grabbed a _lazer pointer. _Yep. I'm Dead.

Then the woman began chasing it. After recovering from my session of "What the Fuck" I swerved it around, and the crazy lady still chased it. I threw the lazer pointer outside, the sliding glass window was broken and always open, and she followed it. The man followed.

Alright, they're outside. They'll go away. Crap, I need another soda. I walked back into the kitchen, and I see two more people. One looks like a clown and another's in a wheelchair. And the clown was drinking my soda. I grabbed the half of the broom and threw it at the clown's head. Of course, both of them turned to me, and I stepped back. I grabbed a bottle on the counter and threw it outside. The clown shrugged, grabbed the wheelchair guy, and went outside.

Shit. There's probably more in the house. I grabbed a frying pan, went to the hallway, and creeped up the stairs. Of course, upstairs I heard something among the sound of water splashing. I quietly walked to the bathroom, and of course there was a man in front of the door.

"Fef! Get out!" He looked like a fish Harry Potter, complete with a cape, white stick, and even damn gills. I edged to him, raised the cooking tool, and swung it against his head. He hit the door and fell unconscious.

"Eridan, I'm done! Happy-" A woman STILL WITH FREAKING GILLS and a tiara waked out, wet. We stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Outside. Now." I said, kicking the fish man towards her. She grabbed him and went downstairs. Alright, who else is here. I saw a pile of clothes by my room. Oh, hell no. I opened the door to see, what else, a man and a woman. The woman was going through my closet, the man had 3D glasses and was typing on my laptop. They noticed me the MINUTE I walked in, and didn't even bother to do anything. I just said "Outside" and they left, the man sadly taking my laptop with him.

I looked out the window. They were still there, yet two more females were there. Probably because they were outside before. I checked the rest of the rooms, and there was only the attic left. I slowly unlatched the lock and climbed the ladder. Of course, what else then another man and a woman. The woman was licking everything, the man yelling at her. How the hell I didn't hear him was a miracle.

"Get the fuck out." I said bluntly. They both turned to me and the guy just unseathed two sickled. I threw the frying pan at him yet it missed. I painicked and ran downstairs, the two people folowing. I ran outside, fell on my face, and just played dead for the next few minutes.

"Well done, KK. You killed someone." One of them saying, he having a lisp.

"I DIDN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING!"

"Nepeta, I think it's dead by now. Please stop playing with it."

"Nefur!"

"I think she's breathing..."

Well, they're onto me. I raised my head and looked at everyone. Yep. All have horns and grey skin. Shit.

"Who the fuck are you people."

"Well, who the motherfuck are you?" The clown guy said. I was about to tell him off when I heard the car in the driveway.

"Shiiiiiiiiiiit." I said. If my parents knew that these people had invaded my house, I would be forced to stay in the house for a long time. I looked around the backyard for somewhere to hid them.

"Get in my shed."

"...What." They all said.

"GET IN MY GODDAMN SHED."


	2. Chapter 2

Well, I managed to shove everyone into my shed (And throw the fish guy in). My parents didn't see anything, but saw the pile of clothes near my room got lectures again, 'Ferris, I thought you would clean up,' 'Ferris, keep track of your clothes.' Normal parent conversations. Luckily, they were going on another trip for another couple of weeks in a few other days. Didn't help my litte sister was coming home from boarding school in about 3 days. They went to bed early, as always, giving me time to sneak back outside and check on the people. Of course, they were messing around with the tools.

"Alright, who the fuck are you people." I said.

"Trolls."

"Haha, very funny. Who the fuck are you."

"No, really." The woman with red glasses said.

"Seriously. I'll admit, the paint on your skin is well done. But really. You people are insane." I walked over to the one with 3D glasses and rested my elbow on his head. "And these horns are weird. How on Earth did you make these? And how did you glue them on so well?" I grabbed two of his horns and pulled on them. "DO you guys live around here, or...?"

"We don't, uh, know where we even are." The wheelchair guy said.

"Huh. If this 3D guy gives me back my laptop I could use Google or-"

"Motherfuck."

The clown guy was standing over a hacksaw we had on the workbench clutching his finger. Some purple paint was dripping from his finger where I believed he cut it.

"Hoooly shit." I grabbed a first aid kit and wrapped up his finger quickly. Well, I didn't know where the fuck the paint came from, for there was no fucking cans anywhere. I asked myself what I was doing, walked up to the 3D guy, took my laptop and booted up Google Maps.

"Alright. Where the fuck are you people from."

"Alternia."

"What."

The one with the nubby horns pushed me aside and just began typing keys.

ALTERNIA_

We could not understand the location Alternia.

_Suggestions:_

_Make sure all street and city names are spelled correctly._

_Make sure your address includes a city and state._

_Try entering a zip code._

_Know about this place and want everyone to find it? Add it to Google Maps!_

"What." He said.

And once again, the clown guy accidently hurt himself. Then he started bleeding the purple paint.

Then everyone just stared at me for a few seconds.

Yep. I'm crazy. Time to faint.

...

Nope, they're still here. Shit.

"Well, I'm not crazy, so NAMES!" I yelled.

"Karkat." The nubby horned one said.

"Kanaya."

"Gamzee."

"Tavros."

"Equius."

"Nepeta!"

(The Fish guy was Eridan)

"Feferi!"

"Vriska.

"Aradia."

"Sollux."

"Terezi."

Crap, I'll need to write these down.

"Stay here."

I walked out and back to the house. Well, now I had to feed 12 more mouths. Shit. I grabbed a few sleeping bags from the closet and walked back to the shed. How the fuck was this going to work. Well, it was good my parents weren't around much, yet I would have to keep my little sister from them. I guess they would have to stay in the shed when they WERE home, And they could come inside when they weren't. I just threw the sleeping bags inside and walked away without a word.

Motherfuck, this wasn't going to be good.

...

_The Next Day_

...

_Ferris,_

_We're really sorry, but we had to leave early. We'll be back soon and spend time with you, I promise._

_Mom and Dad._

Yep. Normal Mom and Dad excuse. They leave early, promise to spend time with me, then leave early again. I stopped caring a long time ago. I cooked some eggs, toast and bacon then went to wake up the trolls. I did the reasonable thing and bang frying pans together as I leaned on the shed. I took the Pop-Tart out of my mouth.

"WAKE UP, FUCKERS. BREAKFAST." I yelled. I threw the frying pan in the shed and walked back inside. The next thing I knew, I was face down in the ground as Nepeta pounced on me and ran inside. Equius, Karkat and everyone else followed. I walked back in to be greeted with Nepeta rolling around in and eating the catnip plant once again. Fuck. Everyone was just eyeing the food on the table suspiciously. I took a trip of bacon and popped it in my mouth, then waked into the hallway. Of course they would begin eating the minute I walked away.

I released my parrot Aristotle from his cage and walked back into the dining room. They were crowding around Nepeta, who was rolling on the floor.

"Nepeta, what is wrong?" Equius asked, shaking her.

"I can hear colors!" She said happily, her eyes no longer slits. She rolled a bit longer on the floor. The other 11 turned to me.

"You poisoned her!" Equius yelled, pointing to me.

"No, she's just tripping balls. Because of the catnip?" I held up what was left of the plant. Nepeta sat up and took the plant from me, then began chewing on it once again. She purred happily.

"Alright, rules: You may never come into the house when my parents are home. You have to do chores. Nepeta cannot eat anymore catnip-" Said troll hissed at me. "-And you CANNOT burn down the house. Karkat, go do the dishes. Gamzee, go help him. Equius, make sure Nepeta doesn't eat my bird." I Pointed to Aristotle pearched on Tavros's horns. Karkat growled, but dragged Gamzee toward the sink anyway. Equius just stood his ground.

"I am _not _taking orders from a Rust blood!" He said firmly.

"How the fuck do you know my bood color."

"I've been around long enough to know! You will not order the Highblood as well!"

"The who." He pointed to Gamzee, who was sitting on the counter staring into space while Karkat tried to find how to work the sink. "What." I said. Equius still stood his ground. Gamzee just walked over to me.

"I motherfucking got this." He said. "Equius, I demand you listen to the rust blood." Gamzee said, slurring his words. Equius simply stammered, then carried the still-tripping Nepeta to the couch.

"He's racist."

"I motherfucking know." Gamzee walked back to the counter and resumed staring off into space. Karkat turned the nozzle a small amount, and jumped back when the water came out. Tavros seemed interested in my bird, and Eridan and Feferi were inspecting the TV. I grabbed the remote and turned it on. I never really watched it much, so of course it was tuned into my sister's kiddie shows.

"WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA-"

Kanaya simply jumped back while Eridan yelled "BULLSHIT!" I turned off the TV, gave the remote to Feferi and sat down. To my surprise, she turned the TV back on and watched the show, smiling.

It will be a miracle if I don't go insane by the end of the month.

...

"SOLLUX, GIVE ME MY FUCKING LAPTOP."

Sollux ignored me and continued typing from the top of the living room shelf.

"...Are you looking at porn."

"What's porn?" He asked, and I coud tell he was serious. I sighed, went to the kitchen, grabbed a bucket, and threw it at him. He screamed the second it hit his face, causing him to fall off the shelf and faceplant into the floor. Everyone turned to me and blushed as their gaze shifted to the bucket. I simply threw the object back into the cupboard and laid on the couch. Tavros seemed to be muttering things to Aristotle, still on his horns, Feferi was still watching the show, Karkat was trying to figure out the dishwasher.

Yep. I'll be insane by the end of the month.


	3. Chapter 3

I've always hated the bus station.

Just a ton of teens, kids, adults, trash, and smog. Yet I have to be here to pick up my little sister, M.S., though her and my friends call her "Bueller" or "Wheel". Yeah, Puns, Puns, Puns. M.S is shipped off to boarding school every few weeks, yet gets kicked out about 2 days later. How she does it, I don't know. Of course, the 3 PM bus arrived on scedule, and I shifted my gaze until I eyed the freckled, long haired 11-year-old happily bounced out of the door with her suitcase.

"Ferris!" She yelled, jumping into me and accidentaly slamming the suitcase into my legs. I winced and just patted her back. As usual, she skipped to the main hall, ignoring everything I was saying. She kept about 5 feet in front of me, just happily talking about what she did at the school. I obviously didn't fucking care. We got to the house in 5 minutes, as usual.

"So, what do you want to eat, Squirt?" I asked, opening the fridge. M.S, of course, just kept her motormouth going. I groaned and just began making her a sandwich. I took this time to think. The trolls could come in when she was upstairs or something, yet how would they know she was coming. With my sister's motormouth she would never keep the secret in, so telling her was out of the question. I turned back to the table, only to find her gone. Fuck. I spent the next few minutes walking around the house looking for her, hoping to see her jumping on my bed or messing in Mom's room. I took a quick peek into the window.

The shed door was open.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

I pretty much tripped over myself as I ran downstairs and outside. I threw myself into the shed, only to see M.S with a bucket on her head. The trolls were doing what I told them to do when someone came in, as in hiding in the corners and on the ceiing.

"Ferris! Look, look!" She said, taking off the bucket, grabbed my hand and dragged me into the middle of the shed. She pointed to Karkat, who was upside-down in the corner and trying to edge up. I sighed and facepalmed.

"M.S, I know who these people are. And they're not people, their trolls. GET OFF THE CEILING, FUCKERS." They all got off the ceiling and stood outside with me and M.S. I flicked Feferi's horns to show what I meant.

"Ohhh." She said, nodding.

"M.S, know that NO ONE can know about this. And I mean NO ONE." I said firmly, shaking her shoulders. She nodded heavily. "If you tell, they will be taken by the goverment and cut up by crazy people."

"Wait, what?" Sollux asked.

M.S nodded again. "Oh, I forgot, Ferris, guess what!"

"What?"

"Mom and Dad gave up! I'm not going to boarding school anymore!"

Well, Fuck again.

...

For some miracle, everything was normal for a bit.

M.S didn't mind the trolls in the house, and just ignored them and watched TV. She went back to watching My Little Pony, and For some reason I'm not asking, Equius watched it with her and seemed to be interested in it. Everyone was still trying to figure out how everything worked, and that included Nepeta's curiosity making her shove herself into it. As Karkat and Gamzee tried to pull her out, I made sure to list what everyone was doing. 

Nepeta: In fridge.

Karkat: Trying to release Nepeta.

Gamzee: See Karkat.

Sollux: On my laptop.

Equius: Watching Ponies with M.S.

Eridan:

I paused to see Eridan by the bookshelf. I sighed, grabbed a random book, and handed it to him.

"Read this." Eridan looked at the cover.

"'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.' What is this?" He asked, turning the book over.

"Just read it." He growled, but opened the book and sat down anyway.

Eridan: Reading.

Feferi: Talking with Aradia.

Aradia: See Feferi.

Vriska: Watching some spiders in the corner.

Tavros: Playing with Aristotle.

Nepeta was out of the fridge now, so Karkat and Gamzee were doing something else.

Gamzee: Drinking soda.

Karkat: Trying to figure out the microwave.

I began taking logs so I was able to know what they were doing at times. I still was paranoid that if I didn't pay attention for 10 seconds everything would go to fucking hell. I guess I'm wrong. Guess I can trust everyone after all-

"DOWN NEPETA!"

"MRROW!"

After a few more bangs, I ran into the living room to see Tavros facedown on the ground, Aristotle being chased around the room by Nepeta, Karkat swearing, and everyone else was just staring.

Nope. Still no trust.

...

What did I do to be punished by this.

Of course, we're all standing outside the bus stop to go to the grocery store. Eridan is reading, Nepeta is happily talking with M.S.

Honestly, It was M.S's idea. I don't really care for the details, but I know something will be wrong today. The bus rolled up to us, and the driver just eyes everyone as they stepped on.

"...Comic Geeks." I said quickly. The driver nodded and drove. Everyone was of course interested in the bus, and I had to slap a few heads to make them sit down. My usual store was huge. About the size of an average Ikea.

"I swear to everything I hold Holy, if you guys do something wrong..." I growled, and grabbed a shopping cart. If these guys do anything to get mekicked out, I swear I will kick their asses so hard-

And of course, the minute I turn back, everyone is gone.

I held back a "Fuck" and pulled the cart through the store. Gamzee was the easiest to find, considering that he walked up to me and dropped a few bottles of Faygo in the cart.

"Where the fuck is everyone else." He shrugged, and I swore a bit more. I ran through the store, Gamzee pushing the cart behind me. Nepeta was on the ground, playing with a cat toy. I tried to make her let go of it, yet he just scratched me. I managed to grab the toy, throw it in the cart, and make her follow me.

In the DVD aisle, I found Eridan staring at a screen, Feferi looking at movies behind him. Eridan was holding a few Harry Potter movies, Feferi was holding a DVD of The Little Mermaid.

"You're not leaving until I buy those, aren't you." They didn't say anything, but I grabbed the movies, grabbed Eridan, and dragged them through the store. Tavros was found watching some boys playing D&D, and I didn't bother an explanation, just grabbed a set and pulled him along.

Vriska was in the Pet aisle, dreamily watching a tarantula. And I had to have Gamzee and Eridan help me drag her away. Karkat was flipping a sickle around, and I swear to god If i didn't arrive sooner he would have killed someone. Terezi wasn't that far away, sniffing scented candles happily. I threw a few into the cart and made her follow.

Sollux made me get a few jars of honey, Aradia wanted a Indiana Jones movie, Kanaya wanted a sowing kit, all we needed to find was M.S and Equius.

I swear, We all had to stifle a laugh when we found them. Equius and M.S were both in the Toys aisle, both of them looking at _ponies._ The minute they saw us, Equius held a plush behind his back.

"I-I was simply supervising." He said quickly. I grabbed M.S's wrist and tried to drag her away.

"M.S, we gotta go."

"Ferrrriiissss! But I want Rariiityyyy!" She whined, flailing around a figurine. The adults were staring at me now, wondering what I was doing. I sighed, grabbed the figure, and began pushing the cart to a checkout lane.

**1 lb milk**

**3 Steak**

**4 6-pack Fruit Roll-ups**

**5 16 oz. Faygo**

**1 Feline toy**

**The Little Mermaid DVD & Blu-Ray**

**Harry Potter and the Prisoner of A. DVD**

**Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets DVD**

**Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire DVD**

**D&D Wrath of A.**

**6 Candles**

**3 6 oz. of Honey**

**Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal S.**

**1 Sewing Kit**

**My Little Pony: Rarity**

**Total: $98.76**

I stared at the Reciept.

"I hate all of you."


	4. Chapter 4

Everything was quiet for a bit.

Aside from Feferi constantly singing "Under the Sea" and Sollux eating all our honey in our fridge, things seemed okay.

And then Gamzee started trying to stab my face.

Well, everyone is staring at me and him in the kitchen, a knife between us on the floor. M.S looks like she's about to cry, Equius seems ready to grab her and carry her away, Nepeta and Karkat are shaking.

"Yo." I said casually, ignoring the fact a few minutes ago I was cooking noodles and he just tried stabbing me. I was complimented by my teachers for my ability to stay calm under any situation, including this, so I tried holding back about a thousand "Fuck" in my head. Gamzee just smiled.

"What gives you permission to talk to me, peasantblood." He whispered, barely audible.

"Excuse me?"

"WHAT GIVES YOU PERMISSION TO TALK TO ME, PEASANTBLOOD?" He screeched, M.S began to cry. He grabbed two rolling pins from the counter and held them like clubs.

"EVERYONE OUT!" Karkat yelled. Equius grabbed M.S and ran out of the room, Nepeta and the others following. Gamzee jumped at me, and I dodged and let him fall into the cupboard open behind me. I ran up the stairs, opened the attic and the window hallway, and had Equius help me get everyone up.

"Be absolutley quiet." Karkat whispered, I found this Ironic due to how much he swears. I heard Gamzee below me, and I believe he jumped out the window I opened.

Well, while Karkat tells why the fuck Gamzee wanted to stab me, might as well go into some details.

Me: Long black hair, I don't have freckles like M.S. Usually wear a black tee with a skull on it with jeans, not gothic though.

M.S: Long blonde hair, freckles, and is the human equivalent of ADHD in a meth pipe. Usually wears white clothes, yet somethimes she has ponies on them.

"...And that's it." Karkat said, finishing the story. M.S was crying more. Fuck.

"Well, we just need to get him drunk again." I said, moving a few boxes.

"Not that kind of Sober. He needs to be stoned. And what are you looking for?" Sollux asked. I removed a box and took out a lead pipe.

"If I die, make it seem like I was stabbed." And with that, I opened the hatch, jumped down and locked it behind me.

"FERRIS!" M.S sobbed from the other side.

"I'm doing this to protect you, M.S. Equius, make sure everyone stays in the attic. There's a few snacks in a metallic box, If I don't return, kick Gamzee's ass." I tapped the hatch a few times, and walked through the hallway.

Imagine a about 4 Ikeas. Then make them look like a house. That's how big the manor is. I held the pipe high and stalked through the hall. M.S got on my nerves a lot, but I swear by everything holy if Gamzee touched her I would beat him so hard His horns would fall off. I flipped around the pipe, waiting.

Honk.

I had time to turn around before one of the rolling pins hit the top of my head. My Vision blurred and I bit my tongue, but I kept steady. Gamzee smiled, the makeshift clubs still ready. I held the pipe high. Gamzee simply juggled the clubs and threw them at me.

I was hit in the face, stomach, and arm. I was sure my eye was going to be black tomorrow, but fuck it. I just ran forward and did the move the always works, the kind that no one can avoid, the kind that can bring a grown man to his knees.

I swung the pipe and hit him square in the crotch.

Gamzee simply made a "Ffffff" Sound and fell over. And at that moment, the others ran into the room, Karkat already going forward and shushing the writhing troll.

"...You broke my hatch." I said simply.

"Does it matter?" Sollux asked.

"No, it doesn't. But get the Jugaloo here sober again before you all get a nut shot.

...

Well, Gamzee didn't remember being sober much, resulting in suspicion when M.S was scared of him for awhile. I moved the pipe to the living room so I could get it when needed, fixed the hatch, and calmed everyone down. Nepeta got into a few fights with the neighbor's cats, yet other things were normal.

Karkat: Still trying to figure out the Kitchen.

Gamzee: Drinking soda.

Nepeta: Playing with a cat toy.

Eridan: Reading.

Feferi: Watching The Little Mermaid with M.S.

Tavros: Playing D&D with Vriska.

Vriska: See Tavros.

Equius: Investigating tools (What).

Terezi: Talking to Aradia.

Aradia: See Terezi.

Kanaya: Sewing.

Sollux: Figuring out Youtube.

3.

2.

1.

"DAMMIT!"

Smoke alarm.

Fuck.

I walked into the kitchen to see Karkat on the floor with a smoking pan of... Fuck it, I don't know what that is. I poured a cup of water on the pan, threw it in the sink, and walked away.

And then Feferi and M.S began singing Under the Sea once again.

To be Honest, I'm surprised my Sanity is still intact.


	5. Chapter 5

"A CONVENTION?"

Me and M.S were in front of a table, a box from our parents opened. Inside was 14 passes to a huge convention this year. I usually go, but it is CRAZY. The fandoms collide, and it usually ends in a war. Literal War. As in the fangeeks use fake weapons again another fandom, also using fake weapons. And conveniently, Mom and Dad gave us passes for me, M.S, and the trolls. VIP passes cost about $100, so you bet your ass I was conflicted. Go to the Con, or stay home and let 14 passes go to waste. M.S was bouncing happily next to me.

"Ferris, Are we going? Are We going?" She asked happily, inspecting the plastic cards. Alright, how could I let her down easily. Don't think it's possible. I just simply smiled and prepared myself from the upcoming shitstorm that would rain upon me-

_Ding-Dong._

Saved by the doorbell. I excused myself and walked to the hallway, sighing in relief. Opening the door showed a man in about his late 30's with an eyepatch and tricorn hat with a Spade pin on it.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Hello, Ma'am, Spades Slick's my name, I'm the leader of the Midnight Crew." He tipped his hat. His voice was a bit raspy, I wonder if he smoked.

"Are you a detective or...?"

"You could say that. Cut to the chase, have you seen these tr-" He bit his lip before continuing. "_Teenagers_ anywhere in the neighborhood? He took a few pictures out of his pocket before handing them to me.

Fuck.

These were pictures of Equius, Nepeta, and Vriska. Their horns had been edited out and their skin was tan to make them look like humans. I kept my best Poker Face before handing them back and smiling.

"No, I haven't. Are they missing?"

"Something like that." I swear, this guy was more suspicious then a murderer stabbing someone in a carnival.

"Well, give their parents my regards." I slammed the door before he could say anything. Fuck, that seemed suspicious.

"Who was that?" Vriska asked, walking into the hallway.

"NO ONE!" I shouted. The eight-obsessed troll stared at me, before walking back to the living room. I needed to get everyone out of the house. My parents would NOT take me going to jail for alledged kidnapping well. I stared at the kitchen table before running to the living room.

"WHO WANTS TO GO TO A CONVENTION?"

...

Eridan is dressed as Harry Potter.

M.S is humming the MLP Theme song, Equius trying not to join in.

Is it worth it?

Somewhat.

We're all on the bus to the convention center, along with other geeks. I have a stick in my backpack incase I have to beat a few bitches. The bus rolled up and I had to throw everyone out. The Convention looked a bit more like about 5 airplane Terminals then a convention hall.

"It's soooo big!" Nepeta said. I held back a "That's what she said" and led everyone in. Aproximentally, it would be 3 hours until the fandom war. I turned to everyone to discuss the rules when I saw something that almost made me spazz.

There was a guy.

Dress up.

As Tavros.

He walked up to us.

"Dude! Nice Costume!" He said to the real Tavros, and stuck out his fist. After the freaked out troll fist bumped him, the cosplayer walked off.

"Did I just see two motherfucking Tavbros?" Gamzee asked. The trolls began talking to each other.

"Someone's original characters!" I said. A few more cosplayers passed by. "Someone's FAMOUS original characters."

The trolls still eyed me.

"M.S! Look! Ponies!" I said, pointing to a stand. The girl squeed like an idiot and ran off.

"I-I shall go supervise." Equius said, and trailed M.S.

"Go do what you want. Come find me if you need money." I sent everyone off and walked around. How did people know about the trolls? I followed the cosplayers to a large aisle of stands.

"Heh, Buckets."

"I will nefur stop reading it!"

"BEEP BEEP MEOW!"

"So many Lowbloods..."

I managed to squirm my way to a stand, and on it laid a book.

"HOMESTUCK ACT ONE-SIX"

On the cover was a picture of Karkat.

"HOW MUCH?"

...

Alright, let's see what I gathered.

Homestuck revolved around some kids trying to save the universe from some dick named Lord English and the "Felt" I skipped a few pages, including the ones where some guys fought the Felt, but otherwise stuff made a_ looooot _of sense. Fuck, I spent about an hour and a half reading that...I'm a fast reader.

Better check on the trolls.

Harry Potter section first.

Cosplayers and merchandise, as usual. Also a large amount of laptops to read the worst fanfic ever. Eridan was staring at the screen.

"What the glub is this crap."

"The worst fanfic ever with a Mary Sue." I passed by him and went to the next section.

Bronies.

I Metal-Gear-Solid-ed behind the stands to find Equius and M.S. Using my epic eavesdropping skills I listened in.

"I believe Rarity is the better one. She is a perfect example of higher class."

"Fuck no! Pinkie is better, this bitch can PARTY!"

While Equius kicks the crap out of someone lets head somewhere else.

I found Nepeta eating a Cheeseburger. That is All.

Karkat was flipping around a sickle with the WoW geeks.

Sollux was chilling with the hackers.

Aradia was with the Indianas, Feferi was with the Disney geeks, blah blah. It took me until I found Tavros and Gamzee riding around the hallways when I noticed Terezi was trailing behind me.

"What's up?"

"This may sound odd to you, human, but I smell trouble a foot." She said. I raised my Eyebrow and looked at the clock.

15 Minutes.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck." I called Gamzee and Tavros over, then lead them out of the hall. Maybe I was just paranoid. Yeah. Maybe it'll be FIM VS Anime again. No psysical harm, just funny noises and wands. I went to the lobby to see who would start it.

2 guys with Mario and Sonic shirts.

Nintendo VS Sega.

We're.

All.

Fucked.

...

I realized that if I close my eyes and imagine myself at home, everything would be okay.

Nope. there's another crash. I opened my eyes to see Terezi, Karkat, Nepeta and Feferi swinging on the lights on the ceiling, Gamzee ramming down people with Tavros's wheelchair, Vriska and Eridan beating people up, Equius kicking people with M.S on his shoulders, and the rest of the trolls just being idiots.

What did I do to deserve this.

All the people did was try to leave, someone accidentally rammed into Equius, he punched the guy, and then this fight broke out. Didn't help the tension between Nintendo and Sega got so large they began the fan war in the fight. Sollux, Aradia, and Kanaya are behind me, the only ones sensible to get over here.

I needed to get everyone out of here.

Without attracting attention.

And with that thought, I ran toward the electricity room.

...

"What happened to the lights!?"

I will always treasure how girly everyone sounded when they said it. I removed my hands from the light switch on the generator and ran out. I struggled my way through various people to find the trolls all grouped together. I slapped Karkat to get his attention before leading them all outside and throwing them onto a bus.

...

Later that evening, I was on the couch messaging my temples. Equius was watching ponies with M.S, again saying he was "supervising". Eridan was trolling the My Immortal people, Sollux was on Tumblr.

What was wrong with that sentence.

I ran up to Sollux and took my Laptop.

What, you thought he was blogging? No, he was surfing. He already Uploaded the fandom war video somewhere else. Then Vriska walked into the room.

"Why did you have to take us home when we were having fun?" She asked.

My friend Eyelid Twitch returned.

And that, my friends, is how I ended up chasing half of the trolls with a rusty ladel the next half of the evening.


	6. Chapter 6

I think by now you should know it was Winter Break when the trolls arrived.

Yeah. Everything happened in less then 2 weeks.

Well, now it's a few days Before Christmas, or "12th Perigree's Eve" as the trolls called it. Nepeta got sick and we had to take her to the vet, but that really was uneventful. I managed to get stockings for M.S and the trolls, then get a tree with the Trolls burning it down. Right now we're decorating a new one.

"Nepeta, stop messing with the human glass ball." Karkat said, trying to get a decoration from the cat-like troll, who then walked off. I chuckled and continued putting stuff up.

"Ferris, I wanna put up the star!" M.S whined.

"No, _Ma-_"

"Don't you dare."

_"No, Maaaple Syyyruuup..."_

Yeah, I think my mom was drunk when she named M.S. Said little girl threw a pillow at my face and walked off.

"I do not understand this 'holiday.'" Equius said, putting up a decoration."Why do humans celebrate a overweight man breaking into their hive and leaving items in his wake?"

"It sounds reely fun, Equius!" Feferi said.

"It motherfucking does." Gamzee added. Equius was about to add something, but was cut off by Nepeta entering the room.

"I can't find them..." She said sadly.

"Find what?" Eridan asked.

"Ferris said she hid our Purresents somewhere!" While everyone looked confused, Nepeta ran off somewhere else.

"Our what?" Feferi asked.

"I got you all something. Nepeta is just looking for the stuff." I ignored everyone after that. I was too busy thinking. My parents were coming home for Christmas, which means alot due to the fact they usually miss M.S's and my birthday and most holidays. I put up the last decoration and stepped down from the ladder.

"Ferris! It's snowing!" M.S said happily, pointing outside. And for once, the rain had finally frozen over.

"Whoop-de-fucking doo." I said. Aradia was by the open screen door, staring at the rising snow in awe. I pushed her through the door and she landed face-first on the ground.

"DEVIL'S WATER!" She shouted, getting up and running inside. I facepalmed. M.S simply ran outside. Equius and Sollux stared at the running Aradia, then at me.

"...Snow."

"Excuse me?" Equius said. M.S ran back in with a snowball and threw it at Equius. He simply stared at her with a blank face. She giggled and ran back out.

Equius, Kanaya, Karkat, and Nepeta: Outside with M.S.

Aradia: Staring out the window.

Feferi, Gamzee, and Eridan: Eating.

Sollux: On the computer.

Tavros and Vriska: Playing D&D.

Terezi: Napping.

...

Why the hell did I not write in this yesterday. Maybe I just needed to pay attention. Meh. Christmas Eve. Eridan attacked some carolers, and now we're sledding.

Wait, what the shi

Sorry about that, M.S and Terezi hit me with the sled. The hill is steeper then most ones, so of course I didn't have the time to react.

"THIS IS STUPIIIID!" Karkat yelled as he fell forward and into a pile. While Nepeta helps him out, guess I can recap.

Yesterday I managed to put up all the lights, even with Equius accidently tangled himself up and hung from the roof for about 3 hours. Anyway, everyone's trying to get me home before dark. One sec.

Kay, we home. Still snowing, and everyone's watching TV.

"So, why are you excited for your caretakers returning?" Vriska asked. I glanced at her.

"They aren't here for less then a day every few months. Missing birthdays, holidays, eh. Just important for me and M.S."

There was silence, only noises being the occasional laugh and the TV.

Then the phone rang. I sprang up and turned on the reciever.

"Ferris?"

"Mom! Why are you calling? Are you on your way back?"

Silence.

"Ferris, honey... There was a snowstorm last night. All of our flights have been grounded and canceled...We won't be home this year. We're going to get on as soon as it's availble."

More silence.

"...Sure thing, Mom. The only hard thing will be telling M.S." I let out a shaky laugh.

"We're really sorry, Ferris. We'll be there soon."

Click.

I slowly put down the phone, my hand shaking.

"Fer, are you okay?" Eridan asked.

"Yeah... Everything is _Fan-fucking-tastic!_" I wiped my eyes before running into the hall and up the stairs. I slammed the door to my room and buried my face into a pillow and cried. I might be tough, but when it comes to my family everything breaks. And now my own parents won't be here.

Fan.

Fucking.

Tastic.

"Ferris?"

"Fersis, you motherfucking okay?"

I looked up to see Kanaya and Gamzee in the doorway. Kanaya walked forward and sat on my bed.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Everything is _fantastic._" I said, shifting my glance to the ceiling.

"Doesn't motherfucking seem like it." Gamzee responded.

I grunted and shoved my face back into the pillow.

A bit of silence.

"...Equius is downstairs conforting M.S." Kanaya muttered, trying to break the silence.

"Figures."

"My motherfucking dad is never home either." Gamzee said.

"Does your dad come back in a minimum of a month?"

More silence.

"...We're really sorry, Ferris. Your parents not coming home... Must be hard on you. But still, we're here. Everyone downstairs cares about you, even if they don't seem like it. Equius cares about M.S, we all care about you. You still have a family here." She put a hand on my shoulder.

"Fuck yeah!" Gamzee sat on the bed as well. "We're still here for this bitchtits holiday!"

My face still in the pillow, I smiled.

Kanaya was caring and nice, but wasn't afraid to use force when it was needed.

Gamzee was fun loving and odd, but crazy when pushed to his limit.

They're sort of like my parents somehow...

And before i knew, I was asleep.

...

Morning.

Kanaya and Gamzee weren't in my room, of course.

I put on a fresh pair of clothes and walked downstairs. I looked under the tree to see, suprisingly, the boxes still there and not torn up by M.S. None of the trolls were in any of the rooms. I was going to check outside when I saw a note on the fridge.

goiing for a walk

be back 2oon

-2ollux

I sighed. I would forgive Kanaya, Gamzee, and Equius, but not even therest of them would stay around. I prepared to crumple up the note when I saw a box on the table. I walked up and once again read the note on it.

ENJOY FUCKASS

happy P-Erigr-E-E's -EV-E!

D- Here.

:33 *ac hopes furris will enjoy the gift!*

We Hope You Like It.

bItChTiTs HoLiDaY!

wweh.

3NJOY F3RR1S!

open after fiinding the letter

Enjoy 8t, i gu8ss.

hERE,

merry 12th perigree

I opened the box. Inside was a small picture frame with a bronze rim, the photo inside a picture of me, M.S, and the trolls. I recodnized this photo as the one M.S took when she first got home.

I smiled.

Even without my Mom and Dad, I still have a family here.

And I guess I'm okay with that.


	7. Chapter 7

Well, school's back in.

Fuck my life.

I managed to convince the authorities that the trolls had advanced IQ and didn't need to go to school, with the help of Sollux. I was informed we would be getting new students in the school after Winter Break, so everyone in the class was waiting. I was balancing a pencil on my nose when the teacher entered.

"Hello, class! Welcome back from break! As I said before, new students will be joining us today. I want you to show them around the school and make them feel welcome."

The next 4 teens that came through the door nearly made my choke on my spit.

A black haired kid with buck teeth.

A blonde with sunglasses.

A white haired girl with a goth attire.

And a black haired girl with glasses.

"I would like you to meet John Egbert, Dave Strider, Jade Harley, and Rose Lalonde. They will be joining us this year. Kids, go sit down by Ferris?"

The 4 nodded and walked forward, Dave just grunting. Rose, Jade, and Dave sat behind me while John sat in the desk right next to mine.

Alright.

4 more characters from Homestuck were in my town.

Fuck.

"Hi!" John said, leaning on my desk. "I'm John!" He smiled, showing those weird buck teeth of his.

"...Ferris."

"Well, I hope we can be friends sometime! I'll have to introduce you to Dave, Rose, Jade-"

The rest of the day was just him talking to me. I responded a few times, but my mind too fixed on the fact that the Beta Kids were here.

This was weird. Really weird.

Then again I live with horned people, so I guess i'm getting used to it.

"So, what're you doing after school?" John asked me.

"Just going home and watching my sister. The little shit."

I ran out of the room the minute the bell rang.

I was halfway across the street when I realized John and the others were following.

"Hello, Ferris. I was wondering if we could walk with you. My mother's workplace is on the way to your house. John told me."

Said buck teethed kid smiled and waved.

Shit.

"Fine."

It was a 30 minute walk to the house, to my dismay. Dave and Rose didn't talk much, John wouldn't shut his mouth, and Jade would talk about Becquerel nonstop. After 10 minutes, everyone shut up and stared at the graffiti and litter on the ground.

"Are there gangs here?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, none attack me much though. Just stay close."

To be honest, I like to relax here. Silence and Emptyness. Maybe that would be my land. My consorts would be a silent animal, my god tier would be Maid of Void-

What the hell am I thinking. Really. I can't join the Homestuck fandom right now. Right now I need to focus on ditching the Beta Kids.

And then someone began ticking.

"Don't do that. It unnerves me." I turned to the others.

"We aren't." Dave responded, monotone.

It got a bit louder.

"...Crap. C'mon." I walked faster.

Louder.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck." I broke into a slow run. I might be tough enough to fight people, but I still don't like trouble. Just have to keep running, get out of the Avenue, get the Betas somewhere-

I crashed into someone as the sound stopped. After my ass hit the pavement I stared up at a guy with a green suit, green hair and this seriously odd yellow bowl-hat.

I swear, he looked familiar.

"Well well well, someone on our turf." He cracked his knuckled as he sneered at Me and the kids. I backed up into another green suited guy with a green op hat and what looked like a voodoo doll.

Still familiar.

"On the count of 3, I want you four to run." I growled to the Betas.

"But what about you?" Jade whispered.

"Three. Go!"

Didn't see it, but I knew they ran to the end of the avenue.

Now just me and the green douches.

"Well, why would a girl like you be here in such a _dangerous _part of town?" The yellow hat guy said in a mocking voice.

"Easy. Out for a run!" I slid under the green hatted guy and sprinted down an alley.

"Crap! Trace, Fin! Follow 'er!"

Yeah, The familiarity is growing.

Jump on the dumpster, grab the pipe, roof of the building. Hide behind the incinerator chute.

Okay, they won't find me. Just gotta camp out-

Then a knife hit the side of the chute.

Get to my feet and run. Gotta get to the board and-

Then I trip over a guy with his hair sticking out on the side of his head and an orange hat.

"DAMN!" I fell on my face, shook it off, and continued running. Get on the board.

I look down to see some other guy in a green suit, big-ass glasses, a purple bowl-hat with a four on it, just staring at me with this dopey smile on his face. I swear I could see a four leaf clover on his hat.

Gotta keep running. Gotta get out of this area, meet up with the beta kids and-

The board breaks in half.

In half of a second, I'm in an open dumpster with trash on my face. The guy who was smiling at me laughs.

"Lucky, ain't it?"

"FuckthisshitFuckthisshitFuckthisshitFuckthisshit. " I jump out of the dumpster and run out of the alley into the open road again.

Surrounded.

"Look. I don' want trouble." I say, holding my hands up. Guy with a crowbar. Guy with a blue top hat. Guy with yellow hat begins running around me until I can't se him.

Either I'm on drugs or these guys have wibbly-wobbley timey-wimey- stuff powers.

Half of them pull out guns.

Welp. Fuck my life-

"Shit! It's Droog! Scram!"

I open my closed eyes to see a tall guy in a fedora holding a gun as the green suit guys escape. I swear yellow hat runs up a wall. The guy turns to me.

"Girl, may I have an explanation to why you walked in this part of town?"

I stammer. "I was just walking home. What, do you think I'm carrying drugs or somethin'?"

He simply stares at me.

"Get home."

He walks off without a word. I sigh and continue walking. As I pass by, I can't help but remember something I read only a few pages of.

The Intermission.

Oh yeah.

I was just attacked by the Felt.

...

"Ferris! You're okay!" John yells when he sees me. He and the rest of the beta kids are standing in front of a bar.

"C'mon. My mom works here. We can report who attacked you." Rose adds. We all walk in and JEEZ does this place has a fuckton of neon.

"Eyyy~! Rose, who's your frind? Friend." A woman who has a damn good resemblance to Rose says, waving.

On her nametag says "ROXY LALONDE."

Damnit.

**...**

**Hey guys, FIXC here. I was wondering, when this fanfic ends (Yes, it WILL have an end) I was thinking; would you guys want to have a sequel? The two ideas I have are**

**1. Ferris and another fandom (Thinking either TF2 or Hetalia)**

**2. A spin-off focusing on M.S and the dancestors**

**Tell me in the reviews if you would want a sequel and what idea you like :).**


End file.
